The Dealmaker

by Katy Franklin.

In my last article, “The Dealbreaker,” someone posted a comment suggesting my next one be about “DealMAKERS.” I thought that was a great idea. Instead of being so negative, and discussing how guys can turn us off, I wanted to show some ways in which guys can turn us ON. So now, I give you “Dealmakers,” otherwise known as 50 things guys can do to make us smile, make us sit up and pay attention, make us think twice about them, or even make us fall in love with them.

He has great teeth

He opens the car door for you (even if you’d rather get it yourself, you have to admit it’s a sweet, old-fashioned gesture.)

He asks your drink and then gets one for you

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Dating, Online and Otherwise

by Jerry Whiting.

To say that internet dating has changed being single is an understatement. Heck, it’s even changed cheating. One searches the other’s email, text messages, voicemail, IM, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, whatever, and busts them.

Online dating harbors little of the stigma it once did. One is no longer labeled a loser for using the net to hunt/shop/forage. As craigslist has undermined newspaper classifieds and travel sites have dealt a blow to travel agents, online dating sites like match.com, nerve, eHarmony, et al. have unraveled traditional face-to-face dating. Are you ashamed to tell family and friends how you met your latest mate? Speaking of which, how honest are you online when you described yourself? How honest were they?

Ladies, if you’re going to use craigslist to shop for a man (or any other dating site for that matter), please take a moment to read my advice for women and craigslist. Being a free country, you’re free to ignore part or all of what I have to say. Otherwise you may find yourself guilty of these known craigslist sins. You may, just may, find that heeding some of my suggestions will aid in your search for Mr. Right (or Mr. Wrong if that’s your kink. See “samsara”.)

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Does Match.com Promotes Infidelity?

by Zane Trae Kearney.

“It’s Okay to Look.” Only in certain contexts and situations could this slogan be construed as a truthful notion in the dating scene. In everyday conversations this phrase gets tossed around by men and women in relationships talking amongst their friends about the “hottie” they saw the other day in the parking lot. “Hey, it’s not cheating. It’s okay to look.”

There’s a fine line, however, between the hottie you saw by happenstance in the parking lot the other day and the hotties you’re looking at on the internet via dating websites. I’ll give you an example and we’ll see if you can distinguish the difference. To embody yourself into a setting, I was in a seemingly steady relationship for a year already. Ostensibly things were heading down the path of taking things to the never-ending “next level” and the sensation that I found “that one” was embedded in my thoughts.

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Secrets Of The Boys Club: What Guys Really Think The First Time They See You

by Matt Titus.

There is one thing I try to convey to all of the women I work with: most men do not approach a woman because he thinks she is moral, funny or smart. His initial intention is to sleep with her. I know this sounds harsh and it may be shocking, but it’s true. I am a man and it has never been my intention to approach woman to make a new friend. I have enough friends and none of them wear make-up or smell pretty.

I try to teach women how to think like a man while never losing sight of her femininity. In most cases, a man’s actions are (unfortunately) driven by what pleases him visually, acting out of instinct and only thinking in the moment. My basic thesis is that if a woman can be taught to understand a man’s dating behavior, she can easily control, predict and successfully maneuver through all the confusing “MANerisms” during that date. In other words, I teach women how to speak “man.”

So here’s secret #1 of the Boy’s Club: when a man walks down a crowded street he involuntary classifies all women into two categories: “would sleep with” and “wouldn’t sleep with.”

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Speaking the Universal Language of Emotion

by Joshua Thompson.

Buddha said, “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” Our thoughts honestly control what we do. There is plenty of material written on this. So I won’t get into it too much.

We are a product of what we think…but also what we feel. And I think our feelings aren’t focused on enough.

Honestly, we are mostly emotionally beings. We act based on thoughts, we react based on emotions. Our emotions can stimulate us to do things. They can also stimulate us to ignore reason.

This is the idea that women can really mess you up…because you don’t think logically. Your control is overrun by your emotional language.

But how does this apply to your dating?

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The “Dealbreaker”

by Katy Franklin.

Every girl has her own little hang-ups about a guy that drive her crazy. Whether you’re out on a first date with someone, have been dating him casually for quite some time, or have been in a long-term relationship with a man, these little annoyances can become “Dealbreakers” or “DB’s,” as my friends and I so lovingly refer to them. Some are not so bad, while others can be totally devastating to a first date, or a committed relationship. So I thought long and hard and came up with a list of things I would consider “Dealbreakers” for myself. I also polled some girlfriends to get some second opinions and fresh ideas. The following are 50 serious Dealbreakers…guys, you may want to take notes…

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Late Bloomer

by Carly Zinderman.

You know that Drew Barrymore movie, Never Been Kissed? I totally relate to it, except for being a completely pathetic loser. Yet, in high school, no boy ever showed me the slightest bit of interest. I wasn’t worried about it though, my friends were never asked out either, despite the attempts my closest friend occasionally made on random guys that happened to catch her interest. Other than her over-aggressive pursuit of the male sex, my friends and I had next to no contact with boys during our four years of high school and for most of us, the male-free barrier continued on into our college years as well. But the dearth of dating didn’t bug me as much as you’d think. You don’t miss what you’ve never had and never having had a guy; I didn’t miss not having one. Besides, my friends and I had each other, and that was enough. We would sometimes joke about how we would be old cat ladies, which did bother me, because I’m a really a dog person.

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Good Dating Tip or Not?

Are you watching old Seinfeld reruns for dates because you’re broke? Do you need help with saving money without being a cheap date? If you answered “yes” to either or both of these questions, consider this dating advice: Spice things up a bit with these 7 money-saving and fun dating ideas.

Here’s the link to the full article.

7 Dating Tips - Ideas for How to Save Money

Some of these ideas have potentials of being Romantic (e.g. Central Park), while others may be disasterous if you want a second date. It’s definitely worth a look though.

Happily Single – It’s Not a Myth

by Brenda.

A few months ago I left a comment here on a post entitled “Are You Permanently Celibate” and have been asked to expand on my thoughts.

Basically the post was about a women who had her name on a dating site and in her profile stated that she was permanently celibate. The post itself didn’t compel me to leave a comment, it was everyone’s comments that got me a little hot and bothered. Most of them were about how this woman was a tease, had problems, didn’t like men, was lying to herself, etc. I disagreed completely. She seemed to understand herself well and was very upfront about what she wanted, which struck me as being very honest. Chances are she only got responses from men who felt much the same way she did about dating…more power to her I say.

Unlike this woman I haven’t made some declaration to be permanently celibate, but I do consider myself to be happily single. As I said in my comments to the original post, “There’s a myth out there that women or men who are happily single are not open enough, hate the opposite sex, need therapy or are just lying.” The reality is, being in a relationship or being married does not automatically mean that you’ll be happy. It also doesn’t mean you won’t be lonely. I was married for 10 years and have been single for 14, and during both times experienced feelings of loneliness, along with many other feelings, both positive and negative.

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